should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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