Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
