I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
