Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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