what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
