The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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