dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
