is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were trust falling into bushes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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