Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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