Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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