that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
this is an emotional support booty call
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize