I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
