It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
