he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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