Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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