my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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