Is it because I queefed?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
