ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My vagina is very pro this idea
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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