why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize