Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
