nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
