his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
