haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
