It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
