There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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