Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
