Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
