how can u be prego again
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
