The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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