I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
