Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
