Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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