What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
