I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
