Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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