Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My brain says no but my pants say off.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
