yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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