it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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