just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
