Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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