it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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