he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
