Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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