the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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