Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
