So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
