Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
