Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
