my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
