go do what you do best...puke behind churches
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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