biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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