So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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