Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
