Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize