names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
