maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
