so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
