He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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