feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
