So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
