i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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