dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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