Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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