no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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