i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize