Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize