went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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