I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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