I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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