the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
