Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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