should my penis look like a turkey
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In other news, I just burned my penis
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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