is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
