I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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