Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
